


Holding Home

by BlueEyedGryphon



Series: Holding Hope [2]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Angst, Cussing, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Past Rape/Non-con, Pregnancy, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Strong Female Characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-08-17
Packaged: 2018-12-08 13:41:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11647707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueEyedGryphon/pseuds/BlueEyedGryphon
Summary: Sequel to "Holding Her Hand".  Waverly considers the possibility of pregnancy in the aftermath of her vicious assault.





	1. Waking

Waverly awoke from a nightmare with waves of panic and nausea. Disoriented, she reached out for the warm comforting body of her beloved, who she had grown somewhat accustomed to falling asleep beside. She found only a cold, empty bed. As soon as she was aware enough of her surroundings she dashed to the toilet and immediately belched into it. Her head still pounded as she rinsed out her mouth and brushed her teeth. 

It wasn’t unusual for her to wake up in such a state these days. It had been several weeks since she was attacked. It was helpful to have Nicole beside her as she was falling asleep, but this could not completely alleviate the nightmares and visions she had of her attack. The cop couldn’t always be there anyway due to her work schedule. 

The nightmares were probably normal after the kind of assault she had endured, Waverly justified. The nausea and vomiting was concerning, especially considering the frequency. While she missed Nicole on the mornings she wasn’t there, she was kind of glad the cop wasn’t there right now. The observant redhead would likely notice and try to address the vomiting. She preferred to keep that part to herself. She didn’t want Nicole thinking she was so fragile.

She placed the toothpaste away and grabbed some deodorant. She noticed an unopened box of tampons on the shelf. She considered briefly how long it had been since she had needed to use one. When was her last menstrual cycle? She tried to remember. Had she had one since the attack? It had been close to eight weeks since the incident. An anxiety set deep into her core. Her last period had been about two weeks before the rape occurred. She counted out about ten weeks since she had a monthly bleeding. 

Fuck!

The deodorant dropped to the floor.

Wait, there could be other reasons for not menstruating, right? She had been using birth control still, she told herself. She didn’t just stop because of being in a monogamous relationship with a woman. Also didn’t they give her Plan B at the hospital? She tried to recall, but her memories of the time immediately after the assault were muddled.

She felt nauseated again. She placed her head over the toilet and grimaced as more bile came up. Her petite frame shuddered violently as she finished belching. Unable to raise herself immediately she sat on the bathroom floor leaning back against the wall. She elevated her knees and rested her elbows on them, placing her hands on her tear ridden face. She alternated between sobbing and staring at the ceiling as she tried to cope with the hard realization that she could very well be pregnant. She dropped one of her arms to her side and placed a hand over her belly.

Her internal dialogue continued, full of seemingly unanswerable questions. Who was the father? She had been raped by three men. What if it was the revenant? What would that make the baby? Either way, it was product of rape. Would it look like its father? Could she raise the child? What would she tell such a child about its origins? Would she even keep the baby? She still had options at this point. What would Wynonna think? What would Nicole think? She was suddenly terrified of losing Nicole. What if she made a choice that Nicole didn’t like? If she kept the baby, would Nicole stay? It was still fairly early in their relationship. They hadn’t discussed children or family. Did Nicole want that? Would she want that with her? She certainly couldn’t ask it of her.

When her initial panic had settled she told herself to go one step at a time. She needed to verify whether or not she was actually pregnant. She needed the tests. How would she get them? She still didn’t have her own vehicle. She would need to remedy that soon. She didn’t want to tell anyone what she needed to get from town. 

She finally stood and distracted herself with the rest of her morning routine. She splashed cold water on her face, trying to make it less evident that she had been crying. She brushed her teeth a second time to get the taste of bile out of her mouth.

When she was done in the bathroom, she went downstairs. She passed the all too common sight of Wynonna slumbering on the sofa. Waverly walked to the kitchen to fix herself some toast and ginger tea to help settle her stomach and soothe her throat. Acidic coffee would only upset her tummy further. Though the caffeine might help her headache. Should she even be drinking coffee at all? That’s something that pregnant women were supposed to avoid, right? She tried to stop that line of thinking to focus again on her task at hand. 

She prepared her breakfast, grateful for now having both hands once more. The cast had been removed two days ago. Her right arm tired easily, but it was still much easier to accomplish things. She stretched it some before grabbing a plate and placing the toast on it. She sat at the table and forced herself to eat it despite having little appetite.

Wynonna eventually entered the kitchen, bleary eyed, and poured herself a particularly large bowl of cereal. She took the milk from the fridge and added that to the bowl, finishing the bottle.

“We’re out of milk,” the elder Earp informed.

Perfect, Waverly thought to herself. “I can do some shopping later today,” the smaller woman said, “If you can drive me into town.”

“You can just give me a list,” Wynonna encouraged. She had been extra protective lately, trying to keep her baby sister at the homestead as much as possible, where she knew no revenants could get at her and she wouldn’t run into her other attackers.

Waverly scoffed. “I want to do the shopping,” she demanded, “You are never able to find everything on my lists,” she stated. That was usually true, at least. Her sister couldn’t deny it.

Wynonna shrugged, trying to appear indifferent. “Alright,” she agreed.


	2. The Test

Waverly completed the shopping, but unfortunately her sister had insisted on tagging along. Eventually they placed the groceries in the red car of Doc’s that they were borrowing. She asked Wynonna to go home to put the groceries away, stating that she had other errands and would get a ride home later from Nicole. Wynonna’s furrowed expression showed her hesitation at leaving the younger Earp alone, but she didn’t say anything. She returned to the homestead. 

Finally alone Waverly went to the pharmacy and selected a pack of pregnancy tests with three strips. When the item was purchased she briskly walked across the street and down a couple of blocks to the station.

She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or disappointed when Nicole was not at her desk. She must have been out on a call or on patrol. She was supposed to be off within the hour though. Dolls peaked his head out of the BBD office asking for Wynonna. Waverly told him she wasn’t with her. 

“We’ve got a case!” he puffed. 

Waverly offered her help. He declined. She sighed with frustration, believing he must be trying to protect her from real work. The distraction may have been helpful. “I’m sure she’ll be in later,” she sighed as he closed the BBD office door.

The brunette tried sitting and waiting for her girlfriend to return from wherever, but found that her anxiety about the possibility of pregnancy made that difficult. She noted that no one was really paying any attention to her. Besides BBD, there was no one else at the station. She went into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She removed the pack of pregnancy tests from her purse and read the instructions, noting that she would need a cup. She snuck out of the restroom and entered the kitchen to retrieve a paper cup. She then returned. After peeing in the cup and setting a test strip in it she had to wait several minutes. She paced back and forth across the small single stall room while looking at the clock.

Finally the wait was over. She picked up the strip and read it. 

Positive.

She froze. Her hazel eyes widened staring at the strip. Her heart raced. Her nausea returned. 

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. The word kept refraining over and over in her head. 

Her breathing quickened as panic set in. 

No. No. No. No. No.

This couldn’t be happening.

Maybe the test was wrong. Maybe she should try again.

Her efforts to aim into the cup while her hand trembled nearly failed. Eventually she managed. More pacing and panic ensued. She could hear nothing but her own beating heart as she pulled the second test out of the cup after a very long ten minutes.

Positive. 

Again.

Shit. Fuck. Shit. Fuck. No. No. No. No. No!

She still had one more test. Was it worth another try? What was the possibility that two strips could be wrong? Whatever. She had to do it. One more time.

Ten more minutes later she was sitting on a toilet with three tests in her hands. They all had identical results. She shook her head, still trying to deny the reality. Her reality. The reality that she was pregnant.

She was too stunned to weep. Still her heart was pounding. For a second she thought that her heart rate wasn’t good for the baby. What baby? It’s not a baby, she scolded herself. Not yet. It was barely a fetus. It was just some extra tissue in her uterus. It wasn’t a baby unless she cared, until she cared for it. Did she care? Was she keeping it?


	3. The Drink

She had to clear her head. She had to think. She unsteadily arose from the toilet. She wrapped the tests in a bundle of paper towel, hoping no one would find them. She washed her hands and left the restroom. Still no one was in the station, besides maybe Dolls, hiding in the BBD office. She was grateful for it this time. She wasn’t ready to see anyone or talk to them. She swiftly walked out of the station finding the brisk Alberta air refreshing.

She focused on putting one foot in front of the other, with little mind of where she was going. Somehow she ended up by Shorty’s. On autopilot still, she opened the door, before really realizing where she was and considering if this is where she wanted to be. She entered nonetheless. 

The usual late afternoon crowd gave her little mind. She walked across the room and sat at the bar. 

The bar used to feel like a friendly place. A safe place. It was where she met Nicole. If she remembered correctly she was sitting at the same stool now that the Deputy had sat on that morning.

Now memories of 'that' night invaded her mind. She recalled locking up. She recalled serving alcohol to the three. She glanced at that table, wishing she could set it ablaze. 

Gus was immobilized when she saw her. Surprised at first, to see the youngest Earp sitting at her bar. It was her bar again, after Bobo had vanished. Her expression softened as their eyes met. She could see the conflict in the girl. She set a drink in front of her. 

Waverly raised the glass close to her face and sniffed it. The odor of the sweet almond flavored liquor was intense. Amaretto and coke. With an extra shot of Amaretto most likely.

“On the house,” Gus told her with a wink.

Waverly set the glass back on the table. Waverly lifted a lip slightly, indicating her appreciation for the gesture. Though her eyes did not brighten. 

“Something on your mind sweetie?” Gus asked, as her brows knit with worry. 

She looked at the dark liquid despondently. God, she wanted a drink. She wanted to be drunk. She wanted her mind to be fuzzy and numb so she could stop thinking for two seconds. She wanted to pass out so maybe she could get some actual sleep.

She shook her head.

Yet the conflict raged within her. It would hurt the baby. It’s not a baby. She was going to get it… removed.

She gave that cursed table another glance. She wished she had stopped serving them sooner. She wished she had left sooner. Wished she hadn’t been there at all that night.

No that wouldn’t have stopped it, would it? The attack was so deliberate. Reedy would have gotten to her one way or another. He was so malicious and relentless. She was blaming herself for something that was entirely out of her control.

Gus finished with cleaning a glass.

“I can’t be here right now,” Waverly told her, pushing the drink away from her sensitive nose.

“Do you want to chat elsewhere?” Gus offered.

The younger woman was already getting off the stool. “Rain check, Gus?” She asked, trying to remain friendly. Wanting to cover her devastation with cheer.

The barkeeper nodded in agreement, “Of course,” she responded. She watched as Waverly dashed from the saloon, taking a sip of the drink she had prepared for her herself. 

***

Nicole arrived at the Earp Homestead, as she had believed was planned after work. Wynonna opened the door before the still uniformed cop could even bother to knock. 

“Where’s Waverly?” She aggressively asked the redhead.

“What do you mean, where is she? She’s not here?” Nicole asked, her anxiety already building as she gawked at the worried sister.

“No,” Wynonna told her, “We went into town earlier. She said she had some errands to run and would get a ride home later with you.”

Nicole checked her phone instinctually to see if she had gotten any message or text from Waverly. She shook her head when she saw she had none. She dialed her number.

Wynonna took the phone and ended the call. “She still doesn’t have a phone, dufus,” Wynonna stated, her tone increasingly irritated. She handed the phone back belligerently. “Unless that was one of her ‘errands’ today”.

“You think she lied about what she was doing? Ran off somewhere?” Nicole questioned.

“I hope wherever she is, it’s where she wants to be. I swear to God if she was taken again…”

“Let’s not catastrophize yet,” Nicole interrupted trying to remind herself to remain calm as well. “Maybe she just needed some time to herself and lost track. Think Wynonna. If she didn’t want to be here, where would she go?

“Your place? Gus’? Shorty’s? The station?” the elder Earp guessed.

“Okay, so we’ll check those places.”

“No, you check those places,” Wynonna requested, “I’ll stay here in case she does show up. Be in touch as soon as you see her. Please!”

“Yeah, you too. Let me know if she comes home.”


	4. The Search

Nicole went to her own place first to see if Waverly had somehow ended up there. If she had she would have still been outside. She didn’t have a key yet. A fact that should still be remedied, the redhead thought to herself. She discovered that the short brunette was not waiting outside her apartment, nor had she broken in for that matter. Nicole quickly fed her cat before apologizing to the feline for not spending much time at home recently and leaving only a few minutes after initially entering the apartment.

Next she went to the station. She entered the BBD offices interrupting a conversation about a witch hunt. Or was it a witch cunt. Which cunt? It didn’t matter. Doc, Dolls, and some new dude introduced as Jeremy were absolutely no help to her. Dolls confirmed Waverly had been at the station earlier, but couldn’t determine when or why, only that Wynonna had not been with her. The cop left in a huff. 

She then entered Shorty’s and looked around. No Waverly upon first glance. Gus was serving at the bar. 

“Anything I can get for you, officer?” the older woman asked politely.

Nicole shook her head. She asked only for Waverly.

Gus acknowledged see her earlier in the day. “Is something the matter?” Waverly’s aunt asked.

“I don’t know,” Nicole answered honestly. “She told Wynonna she would get a ride home with me, but then she never met up with me. She was at the station, but left before the end of my shift.”

“She seemed… conflicted earlier,” Gus admitted.

“What about?”

Gus shrugged, “Wouldn’t tell me. Couldn’t even coax it out of her with a coke and amaretto.”

“Do you know where she might have gone?” the cop asked.

The older woman shook her head. 

“Might she have gone to your place?”

Gus scoffed a little at that, though still pleasant. “Unlikely. I got the sense she was avoiding me.”

“May I look anyway?” the worried redhead requested.

“Certainly,” the shorter woman agreed. “I still keep a key under the flower pot in the back,” she informed.

Upon arriving at the house Gus had once shared with her husband and the Earp girls, she noticed all the lights were still off. Waverly was not likely to be here. To be thorough she searched the house. As she predicted it was to no avail. 

She took out her phone, and scrolled through a billion worried tests from Wynonna. She called the elder Earp sister. Wynonna answered before the phone even had a chance to ring.

“Please tell me you found her,” Wynonna stated.

“No,” Nicole replied. “I checked my place, the station, Shorty’s, and Gus’.” She wasn’t any of those places.”

“Okay, can I catastrophize yet?” Wynonna asked in a loud and shaky voice.

Nicole felt her own intense worry growing into terror. “I’m coming back to the homestead,” she informed Wynonna.

Nicole was driving fast. Well over 30 Klicks over the speed limit on the rural road. Still she didn’t miss a small figure walking along the side of the road. She slowed down. It was Waverly. She could tell by the petite stature and long hair. She exhaled her immense relief. Waverly, inexplicably, was easily at least 5km outside of downtown Purgatory. Had she walked all this way? She must have been walking for at least the whole past hour. She pulled up beside Waverly.

“Waverly, What are you doing?”

“Walking home,” the short woman said curtly, without even looking at her.

“Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”

Waverly shook her head.

Something was wrong. Nicole could tell. 

She pulled the car in front of Waverly and removed herself from the vehicle.

She approached the smaller woman with her arms open hoping for an embrace. She was so ready to hold Waverly to her breast and release the rest of her own relief.

The younger Earp didn’t allow for it though. She held up a hand and stepped back as Nicole came toward her. The body language made it clear, she did not want to be touched.

The redhead was visibly saddened. Her furrowed brown eyes met wide, wet hazel ones. Seeing their fear, she wished only to offer comfort. “I’m not going to hurt you,” she assured the petite woman, softly. 

“I know,” Waverly responded shakily, “I just… I just can’t be with you right now.”

“What?” the redhead asked, puzzled. Wondering what in the world that meant. Was Waverly breaking up with her? Need a break, or just need space. “What happened? Did I do something?”

The brunette just shook her head, a pained expression lining her face. “No,” she stated. “You deserve every happiness. You don’t need to be here for this.” 

Nicole was only more confused and concerned. Then she remembered something Gus had told her once. That Waverly’s first instinct was still to protect her. Is that what the smaller woman thought she was doing? “Waverly,” she addressed, “What are you trying to protect me from?”

Apparently that was the right question. Tears started down the brunette’s cheeks. The smaller woman whimpered, then put a hand to her mouth to stifle the cry. Nicole’s restrained herself from stepping forward and wrapping the distraught woman in her arms.

“I’m pregnant,” Waverly finally exclaimed.

Nicole held her silence, but now her eyes widened as well. She couldn’t have heard her right. Waverly did not just say…

“I’m pregnant!” she repeated even louder, revealing her anger at the situation.

“But…how? Are you sure? The hospital gave you Plan B,” Nicole stuttered as she recalled.

“Did they? I couldn’t remember. Doesn’t matter. It didn’t take.”

“How do you know?” the redhead questioned skeptically.

“You mean besides vomiting every morning and missing two cycles?” shouted a frustrated smaller woman. “I tested myself. Three times! They were all positive!”

Shit. This was real, Nicole told herself. How had she missed the morning sickness? She questioned herself. No, wrong question. 

How can she be there for Waverly? That was a way better question.

While she stood, her jaw agape, Waverly glared at her, then turned and continued walking. Her pace was hastening.

“Wait! Waverly!” Nicole called after her, running up to stride beside her.

“I’m walking home,” Waverly demanded stubbornly, “alone.”

“That’s still 12 Kilometers away!” Nicole argued, “Are you sure you should do that in your condition?” 

The smaller woman faced her again and glowered. She could tell saying that was a mistake. It had simply slipped, and she regretted it.

“Really? Nicole? My condition? I’m pregnant, not sick!”

“I know,” Nicole sighed heavily. “Come on. Get in the car. I’ll drive you home,” she invited desperately, “We can figure this out together. You need to…”

"Stop. Just stop," A cross brunette interrupted, “Don’t tell me what I need to do, Nicole! What happens next is my decision!” she stressed as she scowled.

Nicole breathed, “You’re right,” she told her. “Please, don’t push me away,” she implored.

“I’m not pushing you away, Nicole,” the brunette told her evenly, “I have no expectations of you. I’m letting you go.”


	5. The Road

Nicole reentered her vehicle. She rested her hands and forehead on the steering wheel. She was pretty certain she had managed to royally fuck up that conversation. Did Waverly just break up with her? She tried for a second to imagine her life without the youngest Earp. It was miserable. 

Her phone chimed.

WYNONNA: Where are you? Have you been kidnapped too? 0_0

While wallowing, she had nearly forgotten about the worried sister. She called the elder Earp.

“I found Waverly,” she choked into the phone when Wynonna answered.

Hearing the obstructed voice, Wynonna assumed the worse and became alarmed. “What? Is she okay? Where are you? Why do you sound like your crying?” she interrogated frantically.

“She’s fine… physically at least. Going through something, but it’s really not my place to tell you,” the redhead responded in her soothing cop voice, trying to deescalate the other woman.

“Okay,” Wynonna finally exhaled. “Just, bring her home,” she demanded.

“She insisted on walking. She’s about 12k out,” Nicole informed.

“What? Why?”

“Not my place….”

Wynonna didn’t get it. “Did you break up or something?” she questioned impatiently.

“I don’t know,” Nicole answered honestly.

“Whatever. She’s well and walking. That’s what matters,” the elder Earp reminded herself.

“Right. I’ll make sure she gets home safe,” Nicole offered, “I’ll have to keep my distance so she doesn’t see me.”

“Okay, sister stalker,” Wynonna teased lightly in return, deflecting her real appreciation for the kind gesture.

As Waverly continued to walk, Nicole observed vigilantly. She would be ready to intervene if another driver tried to harass her. Or if her legs gave out. When the brunette had gotten far enough away, Nicole turned the engine on and slowly moved forward. She stopped at a distance she felt wouldn’t get her caught. There was a creepy quality to following her girlfriend… girlfriend? In such a manner. She told herself it was for the youngest Earp’s own safety. It was her duty as a cop to ensure that she got back to the homestead safe and sound.

The process gave her plenty of time to sit and ponder. She tried to get into the mindset of Waverly. She couldn’t imagine being pregnant from such a vicious assault. She was certain that in such a position she would abort. But what would Waverly do? How would she decide? Had she already decided? Either way, she wanted to be there for her. It didn’t appear that Waverly would allow for that though.

Her pattern continued as she stopped, waited, then drove slowly in pursuit of Waverly. Nearly an hour and a half later the small brunette was finally home. She watched as Wynonna came out of the house and greeted the smaller woman with an embrace. A hug that Waverly accepted. The cop felt a little wounded at this. She was strangely jealous that Waverly would receive a hug from her sister, but not from her. Ridiculous, she scolded herself. They were sisters. It was different. That thought didn’t discharge the sting though. Still, she was glad that Waverly was maybe letting someone in, even though it wasn’t her. God, she wished it was her.

After several minutes of pointlessly staring at the Earp homestead, perhaps secretly hoping Waverly would come out, the redhead reluctantly pulled away. She sighed heavily as she returned to her lonely apartment and the suddenly inadequate warmth of a single cat.

***

Waverly entered the house, still clutching her sister’s arm. Her legs ached from the long walk. She plopped herself lazily on the sofa. Wynonna sat beside her. 

“Please,” Wynonna beseeched, “Please don’t run off like that again. I was so worried. I had no way to contact you. I thought you were gone again,” Wynonna briefly showed her concern and vulnerability.

“I’m alright,” Waverly assured.

“Are you though?” Wynonna asked, unconvinced. She knew something was going on from Nicole’s hints.

The younger Earp exhaled and looked at the floor, unable to maintain contact with her sister’s stormy blue eyes. 

“What is it?” the darker brunette asked. 

Waverly pursed her lips.

“Did Nicole…?” Wynonna started, concerned the cop had done or said something that had upset her sister.

“No, Nicole is wonderful. She’s perfect.”

“What’s going on then?”

Waverly shook her head. “Are you sober?” she asked.

“Sorta-ish,” Wynonna responded truthfully. She was still just a little buzzed from some binge drinking she did in hopes of preventing panic over her mysteriously missing sister.

“Guess that’s the best we’ll get,” the smaller woman responded dryly.

“Why?” Wynonna asked. While Nicole had confronted her about her drinking, she hadn’t heard any direct concerns from Waverly.

“I need you to not drink when I tell you this,” the younger sister stated sternly.

Wynonna blinked, then slowly nodded her acceptance of this condition.

“I’m pregnant,” the smaller brunette said out loud for the third time this evening. She was still trying to come to terms with it herself. 

Wynonna’s mouth opened, yet there were no words. Hardly even a breath. What does one say to a woman with an unplanned pregnancy, especially if it is the result of rape? Wynonna pondered this privately. ‘Congratulations’ didn’t seem right at all. But neither did ‘I’m sorry’.

“Say something,” Waverly choked, overcome with emotion. She craved the care and kindness that she hadn’t allowed herself to receive from her girlfriend. She needed some kind of response.

“Waverly,” the elder Earp whispered.

“Besides my name.”

Wynonna could see the pain written on Waverly’s scrunched up face. She fumbled for words. She placed a hand gently on her sister’s forearm. “I’m here for you,” she told the smaller brunette softly, “whatever you do.” She paused hesitantly. “And I think Nicole would be too,” she added. She wanted her baby sister to have all the support she could possibly have while facing this difficult dilemma.

Waverly scoffed. Wynonna wondered if she had said something wrong. Had actually something happened between the couple?

“I can’t ask it of her, Wynonna,” Waverly explained through tears. Her fear of losing Nicole was evident. “We’ve barely been together 7 months. Things are still so new, yet so much has happened.”

“She is so devoted to you,” Wynonna told her knowingly.

“Yeah, but… should she be? Would she be if…”

“If?”

Waverly winced. “If I kept the baby?” she questioned in a lowered voice.

The question hung in silence before Wynonna responded, “Is that something you’re considering?”

Waverly shrugged, “Not really. No. I have an appointment, tomorrow actually, to…dispose of it.”

“Tomorrow? That’s really soon. Don’t you have some time to…?”

The smaller woman interrupted, “To mull it over more, while tormenting myself knowing there is still a part of… one of ‘them’… growing inside of me?” The thought made her nauseated. She shuddered and grasped at her belly. She started to have that sense again, that she couldn’t get clean.

Wynonna met her with more silence. She struggled with words, so she tried to just listen. 

Waverly eventually continued, “I don’t want it. I can’t… I just… could I ever love it? A baby doesn’t deserve a mother who couldn’t love it.”

“I can’t imagine you, Waverly, not loving a child. Any child. Due to its origin,” Wynonna told her. “You are the most loving person I know. You would be a wonderful mother. If that’s what you want.”

“It’s not a baby, yet,” the smaller Earp reassured herself. “And it doesn’t need to become one. I can’t be a mother yet. I’m not ready,” she argued. “Maybe one day. But not now. Not like this….” 

Wynonna bobbed her head in agreement, wanting to show she would support either decision. She wanted Waverly to feel no pressure either way.

“And Nicole. I just, I don’t know what to do with her. I want her to be happy. She deserves better…better than this mess,” Better than me, she thought to herself.

“She deserves the best,” Wynonna replied, “And you ‘are’ the bestest.”

That got a small smirk from the younger sister. “Thanks for that,” she responded. “I pushed her away though. I thought I was letting her go, but really, I was pushing her away.”

“Oh,” Wynonna said, “She’ll be back.”

“You think so?” Waverly asked hopefully.

“Definitely.”


	6. The Gift

It was the elder Earp tucking the younger one in under blankets on the living room sofa after the exhausted and conflicted Waverly had finally drifted off to sleep. Wynonna went to her own bedroom. 

The next morning Waverly awoke to a knock on the door. It was better than being startled awake from a nightmare, she thought to herself. She dragged herself from the sofa and opened the entrance to reveal a tall redhead. She gawked at her with surprise. “Nicole,” she greeted quietly.

“Hey,” the cop responded awkwardly. She cleared her throat. “I just wanted to make sure you got home alright,” she pretended, hoping the brunette was unaware that she had actually followed her home the previous night.

Waverly appeared to accept this reasoning with a momentary head bob. The corner of her lip lifted into a soft smile. Nicole thought she might melt when she saw it. How was she supposed to live without Waverly Earp’s smiles?

“I made something for you,” Nicole told her hesitantly. She held out an item loosely wrapped in some tissue paper. 

Waverly accepted the mysterious gift and invited Nicole in. She set it on the kitchen table unopened. She offered Nicole coffee while preparing her morning sickness subsiding breakfast of plain toast and ginger tea. When they were both at the table again, the redhead prompted Waverly to open the present.

The brunette pulled at the tape and unwrapped the simple white tissue paper revealing a dream catcher. Looped twigs were bound with a webbed design. The blue string was deliberately tied with care and perfection. A small ammonite bead was threaded in near the center. More ammonite hung in the middle of eagle and sparrow feathers strung to the bottom of circle. Waverly was awed by its beauty and thoughtful personalization. “You made this?” she asked breathlessly.

Nicole nodded. “I wanted you to have something to ward of your nightmares when I can’t be here.”

“That’s very sweet,” Waverly responded, overcome with emotion. Nicole’s statement about not being here made her recall how poorly she had treated the redhead. Her face twitched as she tried not to frown.

Nicole’s brows knit with concern as she witnessed the smaller woman’s struggle to maintain her composure. “What’s wrong?” she questioned.

“I’m sorry,” Waverly blurted emotionally.

Nicole shook her head, “You have nothing to apologize for,” she assured Waverly.

“I was pushing you away, and you were trying to be there for me,” the brunette admitted.

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t doing the greatest job,” Nicole acknowledged. She was somewhat at a loss when it came to discerning how to best support Waverly.

Wynonna entered the kitchen, smelling the coffee and grabbing herself a cup. “Oh,” she said when she saw that her sister and the cop were both at the table, “I didn’t mean to interrupt your Chick Chat,” she apologized.

It lightened the mood in the room enabling Waverly to smile. Nicole beamed in return.

“You’re free to interrupt the Chick Chat on occasion,” the younger Earp replied to her sister, “just don’t interrupt the Chick Kiss!”

Nicole’s eyebrows raised hopefully at this.

“She made me a pretty present!” Waverly bragged to the darker brunette. She stood from her seat at the table and held out the dream catcher to show it off.

Wynonna eyed the gift, almost as impressed at the craftsmanship as Waverly. “Wow, well done Haughtstuff,” she commented. “Definitely smooch worthy,” she told her sister with a wink.

Waverly reached for Nicole’s hand, which the redhead enthusiastically gave to her. “She’s going to help me hang it up in my room now,” Waverly told her sister, narrowing her eyes slightly to indicate her desire for no disturbances.

“Of course,” the elder Earp agreed.

The smaller woman pulled the redhead up the stairs with her. Once in Waverly’s room with the door shut, they did actually locate an appropriate spot on the ceiling above the bed for the dream catcher. Nicole stood on the bed to put a hook in and placed the gift in the agreed upon site. When she was done she returned to the floor. 

Waverly laid on the bed to admire it. She patted the space beside her, inviting Nicole to join her. They both looked at the ceiling. Waverly was uncertain how much she believed the dream catcher, no matter how artistically made, and would successfully ward off her nightmares. Still, she could look forward to waking up to this wonderful reminder of how loved and cared for she is by Nicole, even when the redhead is not nestled next to her. She turned toward Nicole, gently placing her hand on her chest and caressing the exposed skin there. Their eyes met, then closed as the smaller woman leaned in. “Thank you,” Waverly expressed her appreciation out loud before gently kissing the taller woman’s open lips. 

The soft, intimate touch made both woman realize how much they missed each other, even though they were apart for only one sad, bitter night. Their eyes reopened to each other’s after Waverly pulled away. They shared a mutual desire. Their mouths crashed together again, deeper this time. The intensity grew. Hands began to roam underneath shirts. Nicole ended up straddling Waverly, pulling at her top, before the smaller woman started to protest. “Wait, wait!” Waverly exhaled. 

The redhead stopped immediately, her brows furrowed with concern, “too fast?” she asked apologetically.

The smaller woman shook her head, gently pushing Nicole off of her. “Nope. Still pregnant,” she whispered remorsefully. She clutched at her stomach, demonstrating that the nausea had very inconveniently returned with a vengeance. 

“Oh,” the taller woman expressed her understanding as Waverly raised herself from the bed and dashed to the bathroom.

Nicole heard the retching this time, her own heart shattering for her beloved.


	7. The Pill

“Can we just cuddle?” Waverly asked when she returned to the bed. Nicole agreed enthusiastically. The brunette lay her head on the taller woman’s breast and burrowed into her side. The redhead wrapped an arm around the younger Earp and contently stroked her long hair. 

“I have an appointment at the Women’s Clinic today,” Waverly informed Nicole, “To get it removed.”

The redhead felt a simultaneous ache and relief upon hearing that Waverly had made her choice. She held her a little closer. She privately thought Waverly had chosen the right option, considering her circumstances.

“Would you take me?” she requested quietly.

“Yes,” Nicole agreed.

After cuddling a little longer, the pair prepared to go into town. They stopped by an electronics store first so that Waverly could finally replace her phone. She was able to keep her old number. 

When that errand was completed they headed to the Woman’s Clinic. 

It was 1:27pm. Waverly checked the clock for the third time in the past two minutes. They had been at the clinic for nearly an hour now. The options and process were presented. She had been examined. She was still in a patient room. She sat on the edge of the exam table. The paper beneath her crinkling. Nicole sat in a chair nearby. They were awaiting a nurse to return with a pill. It was earlier enough in the pregnancy to have a medicated abortion. Waverly was grateful for that. It would not be as invasive as the surgical type. 

She was to take one pill now in the office, and a different one the next day at home. She would have some cramping and bleeding, but then it would be done. The tissue would be out. She would be clean of the remaining part of an attacker.

A tortuous 15 minutes later the nurse returned with the medication. It was delivered in a small paper cup. A larger cup with water in it was provided as well. Waverly held the small paper cup in the palm of her hand and stared at the pill within.  
The next step, she told herself, was to bring the cup to her lips. She trembled with hesitation. 

“It’s okay,” Nicole offered encouragingly.

The smaller woman looked at the redhead. Despite the cop’s effort to remain neutral and supportive, the brunette saw an expectation there. She exhaled sharply. 

“I can’t do it,” Waverly choked.

Before Nicole could stand, step forward, and try to provide physical comfort, Waverly was gone. The pill had been left on a counter. The brunette was out the door in a flash, and running down the hallway and out of the clinic. 

A stunned Nicole swiftly paced after her. Once outside Waverly continued sprinting down the street. Nicole pursued, calling after her. She worried for the younger woman’s emotional state while also impressed at the speed with which her short legs carried her. The redhead briefly lost sight of her after she had turned a corner. She cursed at herself. She slowed down, yet continued searching at a much more sustainable pace.

She finally met up with Waverly while the pregnant woman was trying to catch her breath, sitting on the steps of a church. She sat beside her.

“Are you okay?” she asked the smaller woman.

Waverly sobbed, “I can’t get rid of my baby!” She had come to the realization she did care. The offspring within her was hers. “It’s my baby. Not theirs.” She claimed sternly.

Nicole nodded, though her head was spinning. She reached out, trying to put her arm comfortingly around the smaller woman. Waverly flinched and leaned away from the contact. The redhead took that as a sign to keep her her hands to herself for now.

“The life within me is beautiful and blessed and innocent,” Waverly stated clearly.

“It is,” Nicole agreed.

“I’m keeping it,” Waverly told the redhead assertively. “My child will be good because it will be from me.”

“Of course.”

“This is what I’m doing. It’s my decision. I’m raising this child,” the more she spoke, the more confident Waverly sounded. Though she still feared losing her girlfriend. “Nicole,” she addressed, facing her, “I cannot ask you to do this with me. I don’t know what your vision of our future holds. I don’t even know if you ever desired children. I will not be responsible for taking your life in a direction you don’t want,” she explained. “I do need to let you go,” Waverly told the taller woman sadly. “If you insist on staying, I need to know, for the sake of my child, that you really are staying. For good. It would be okay for you to leave, it were just me. But it’s not okay for my baby.”

“I…” Nicole tried to respond.

“Shh,” she placed a finger over Nicole’s lips, “I don’t want your response right away. I need to know that you have really thought about it.”

“Okay,” Nicole answered. Her head bobbed with comprehension. 

Waverly kissed her on her cheeks. “You’ve been so good to me,” she told her. She raised herself from the steps and walked toward the town center.

The redhead continued to sit on the steps, dumbfounded. She placed her fingers on the spot that Waverly had last placed her precious lips, trying to figure out if that was a goodbye kiss.


	8. Confiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops, gave Nicole a little backstory here.

Nicole must have still looked puzzled and pained, sitting on those church steps. She faced the ground with her head propped on her knees. Someone stopped in front of her. It was a man in robes. As she was looking toward the ground, she could see the embroidery near his feet.

“You look lost,” he said.

She looked up to face him. 

“Deputy Haught,” he recognized the police officer.

She was not surprised he knew of her. In a small town everyone knew everyone. Especially the law enforcement. “I’m not lost,” she denied.

“I meant no disrespect, Deputy,” he addressed her politely.

“Nicole,” she offered her first name, “I’m not in uniform.”

“Nicole,” he acknowledged. “I’m Tom,”

She gawked at the familiarity, even though she had incited it herself. Her conservative Catholic upbringing made her hesitant to call a priest by anything but ‘Father,’ and she could see his collar in addition to his robes, now that she got a good look at him. 

“Father Tom,” he stated, “If you’re more comfortably with that.”

She nodded her head.

He gestured toward the doors of the church. “Would you like to come in?” He invited. “I could hear your troubles. Don’t deny that something is bothering you.”

She shook her head, remaining uncertain of this religious stranger. Her experiences with church folk had not been the most benevolent. “I haven’t been inside a church since mine tried to pray away my gay,” she said truthfully. “And I doubt you have much interest in my girlfriend’s unplanned pregnancy,” she added blatantly. She was guarded as she prepared for his reaction, believing it would be a wince, or some kind of display of disgust and disapproval. She was even seeking his shock, testing him. Instead she met a fondness and empathy in his soft blue eyes.

“You’ll find, I hope, that we Episcopalians are not as judgy as some of our ‘Christian’ cousins,” he told her, “Or at least that’s what my late husband and I thought. Not everyone in this small town is small minded.”

She was mildly surprised he had out himself so easily to her, but tried to deflect anyway. “So you’re not trying to get me to confess to you?” she asked.

“Confide, perhaps,” he admitted kindly, “Not confess.”

She smiled as she stood. She allowed the priest, a squat man who was shorter than she, to lead her into the church. She admired the beauty of the traditional sanctuary, even crossing herself as she had been taught as a girl, before entering the sacred space. Old habits never die, she told herself. 

She found her own walls of distrust and self-preservation falling as the minister did actually listen to her story. They even ended up praying about the situation and for Waverly. It felt unusual now as her own beliefs had turned more agnostic. But still, anything could help, she supposed.

Nicole reflected on the most recent interaction with Waverly. She decided, it wasn't a goodbye kiss. She wouldn't let it be. She was committed to Waverly. She would protect the younger Earp and her child with her life if needed. She just needed to figure out how to prove to Waverly that she would be staying. For good. 

***

As soon as she was out of sight from Nicole, Waverly’s cheerful, calm, and confident composure weakened. The reality hit her that she was bringing a child into the world. She told herself that was her choice, but part of her still felt it wasn’t really. She feared that she had made the decision to sustain the life within her, because she would have felt wrong to give it up. She believed she would have regretted it.

In addition, she had let Nicole go. She missed the strong, compassionate redhead already. She missed the way she looked at her longingly with those big brown doe eyes. She missed her soft caresses. She missed her reassuring kisses. She knew Nicole loved and cared for her. Yet, she couldn’t afford to assume this time that she would return. She started to believe she would end up a lone single mother, and the idea petrified her. As she continued pacing mindlessly around downtown Purgatory she only became more terrified and distraught about both her future and her past. 

“Waverly,” a familiar voice called. Waverly turned toward it. She was facing Melany, the three eyed therapist who had assisted with severing the link that the revenant rapist had placed. In public she wore a baseball hat to hide the supernatural third eye. “I sensed your distress from five blocks away,” she explained. “Would you like to come to my practice?” she offered. 

Waverly agreed silently, knowing that words would fail her right now. She quietly followed the therapist, trying to steady her breath, until they reached her office. A large sign lettering ‘Third Eye Therapies’ in purple script hung over the door. It included a logo of a large violet iris. They entered a waiting area that looked more like a living room, then walked past a reception desk and through a door to a private room. It was decorated more like a fortune teller’s place with colorful drapes of cloth flowing down the walls, and a poster of Egyptian astrological signs.

“Third Eye Therapies,” Waverly remarked, “Isn’t that a little obvious?”

Melany shrugged. “Most people are oblivious to the obvious.”

Waverly agreed.

“So, how have you been the last two months?” the therapist asked.

It was Waverly’s turn to raise her shoulders. 

“You’ve been recovering from a traumatic experience. And you have not sought any professional help,” Melany’s declaration managed to sound like praise and criticism simultaneously. 

“I didn’t want to talk about it,” Waverly explained. “I don’t want to talk about it,” she stressed.

“I see,” the therapist stated, while removing her cap revealing the violet third eye, and matching strand of hair. Waverly wondered if she was trying to make some kind of pun or prove some kind of point.

“What do you see?” Waverly asked nervously.

“A woman who is distraught,” the therapist answered honestly.

Waverly shifted uncomfortably.

“And she likely has good reason to be,” Melany allowed her last statement to hang silently, until the reluctant brunette was willing to respond.

“Yeah.” The younger woman finally admitted. “I’m pregnant. From the attack.”

“The rape.” 

Waverly flinched. “Yes.”

“That is a lot to handle,” the therapist validated, “A difficult dilemma.”

“I’m keeping it.” Waverly said sternly.

“Admirable,” Melany commended. She would have supported either choice. 

“Hardly,” Waverly scoffed.

“How did you come to that decision?” the therapist questioned.

“I just couldn’t… get rid of it.” There had to be a more tactful way to talk about the possibility of abortion, but in the moment Waverly wasn’t aware of it. “I cared too much. About the baby.” The younger woman paused, she sought the reaction from the therapist, believing it would be some kind of judgement. "Do you think I made the right choice." 

“Sound's like you made the best choice you could for Waverly," Melany affirmed, "Still, an uncomfortable one. That scares you,” Melany observed.

“Bringing a child into the world, who is literally a bastard, while uncertain of my own family and supports scares me.”

“Say more,” the therapist invited.

“I had to let Nicole go. I wasn’t sure if she would stay if I had the child. If she left me, it would break my heart. Yet, I’m so used to the people I love leaving me, I almost expect it. I couldn’t let her stay if it meant her eventually leaving me and the baby. I want this child. I’ve decided that this is a blessing. I will love this baby."

"You can be joyful for bringing forth life, while still mourning what happened to you." Melany told her sympathetically.

Waverly released a breath, "Right." she responded, sensing perhaps that she was understood. "But I need to ensure that my child will never feel unwanted or unloved,” she determined.

“A pain you are too familiar with,” the therapist recognized. Even without the telepathy of the third eye, Melany could perceive that Waverly was divulging her own hurt. 

Waverly nodded. Wynonna would support her, she knew, but Wynonna believed she was her sister. She may not be. She recalled Bobo telling her that she wasn’t even an Earp. She didn’t even know her own parents and now she was becoming a parent. She was determined to be a good mother, but barely knew what that meant. Her own mother had left when she was only four. She hardly remembered her. Her baby wouldn’t have a father. She knew what that was like.

After confiding this in the therapist, she concluded herself, that she needed to know if she was really an Earp. While she was at it, it may be helpful to know which of her rapists sired the child within her. She needed answers, not only for her sake, but for the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I confess that I created that OC Melany because I wanted to therapize pretty much everyone in Purgatory. We finally get to see her do some of that here...


	9. The Gossip Grandma

The next day, after waking up in a lonely bed, Waverly stared at the dream catcher Nicole had made for her. But this time it only served to remind her of what she had given up. She yearned for the redhead. She slowly got out of bed, her heart broken and guilty over fragmenting both of their hearts. The nausea came, and she wasn’t convinced it was solely from the pregnancy this time. 

She had informed her sister the evening prior about her decision to keep the baby. Wynonna at least appeared genuinely excited about becoming an aunt. She offered to go maternity clothes shopping with Waverly. The brunette decided that was a good idea. She may start showing soon and would need clothes that fit. It would be a good distraction anyway.

Waverly prepared for the day with her morning ritual of toast and tea which she struggled to keep down, but managed this time. She envied Wynonna’s large cup of coffee.

They finally headed out to the only maternity store in Purgatory. It was called ‘Dragon Mamma’s’. Waverly quietly wondered if it was owned by an actual dragon mamma. There were stranger things in Purgatory, she reasoned.

At the shop the sisters attempted to find clothes that were actually flattering in addition to comfortable. Wynonna was more successful at locating completely ridiculous outfits. Including a top that said, “The baby made me eat it”. Or shirts that put cutesy animal faces, complete with floppy ears, over the spot where Waverly’s pregnancy would eventually swell. Needless to say they purchased some of those too. 

At the checkout counter the overly friendly and nosy clerk recognized Waverly. She was a plump older woman. She knew her mostly as Champ’s girlfriend. She must have known they had broken up.

“I didn’t know you were pregnant!” she said excitedly.

Waverly smiled politely in return.

“How far along?” the clerk asked.

“Eight weeks,” the youngest Earp answered. She hoped to keep the conversation short.

“Wow, I didn’t even know you were married.”

Waverly felt awkward at the assumption behind that statement, “I’m not.”

“Oh,” the lady reacted lamely. “Who’s the father?” she asked.

Dumbfounded, and unable to answer truthfully, the brunette spoke the first name that came to mind, “Deputy Haught”.

Wynonna gleamed at her, amused, as the clerk’s eyes bulged out of her head. 

“Isn’t that a she?” the stunned clerk questioned, barely masking her judgment.

Waverly nodded, “Yes,” she confirmed assertively.

The clerk shook her head with shock and disapproval. She handed Waverly’s card back to her, having completed the payment transaction. She could no longer manage eye contact. 

Wynonna and Waverly hastened out of the shop. They were barely outside before the elder Earp burst into laughter. “I think you handled that perfectly,” she approved. Waverly eventually joined her giggling.

After the initial hilarity wore off, a more concerned Wynonna asked, “You okay, Babygirl?”

Waverly cleared her throat. “Yeah.”

“I mean, she was asking some pretty intrusive questions,” the older Earp acknowledged with empathy.

The shorter sister shrugged. “I suppose I should get used to it. Those were all questions pregnant woman usually get asked, I guess.”

“Well, feel free to tell people it ain’t none of their business,” Wynonna advised.

“Hmm, maybe you could get away with that. I’m the nice one though, remember?”

“You sure are,” the taller woman agreed.

Waverly put on her brave face and a soft smile, “Besides, I’m sure gossip grandma shop clerk will spread the news for me.”

Wynonna’s brows raised as she affirmed, “Probably.”


	10. The Chump

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING:  
> This chapter is intense.  
> Someone gets triggered.  
> I hope it is not the reader.

The sisters decided to stop by Shorty’s before heading back to the homestead. Waverly finally wanted tell the woman who had raised her about the pregnancy, before she heard though town gossip. The place was buzzing with its normal Happy Hour crowd. They were able to find two stools together at the bar. Waverly ordered a soda. Wynonna got a shot of whiskey.

Gus was serving other customers, but agreed to speak with the Earps later in the evening when things had quieted some. They planned to get some dinner. Waverly excused herself to use the restroom. On her way out a figure came down the stairs, ambushing her the hallway. At first she ignored him, not seeing his face. She maneuvered around him. He caught her forearm though. This got her attention. “Let go!” she commanded angrily. She looked at the man who dared to touch her. It was Champ. Her legs froze. Her eyes widened with fear. She could feel all her blood rushing to her head as a jolt of terror ran through the rest of her body. She trembled.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said soothingly.

It failed at calming her. She backed away until she was against the wall. Leaning against the barrier steadied her some, but also made her feel even more trapped.

“What are you doing here? You don’t still live here do you?” she asked frantically. 

“No, Gus kicked me out after….” he said quietly, unable to finish the thought, “Anyway, I needed to talk to you. Your sister and… ‘girlfriend’ won’t let me near you,” he whined. In his façade, he almost managed to disguise his condemnation at referring to the cop as his ex’s girlfriend.

Waverly still saw through it. “Go away,” she pleaded, nervously. She wanted to pull her arm from his hand, but had no command over any of her limbs. Her digits were going numb. His hand remained on her forearm, and it felt as though it was burning her.

“I know you’re pregnant, Waverly,” he told her in a guttural whisper. He had a genuine look of concern on his face. “The Dragon Momma’s lady is a friend of my mother’s,” he explained.

Now Waverly was really starting to panic. She couldn’t inhale effectively. She was gasping for air. Her heart was racing like it was trying to escape her chest. Meanwhile the clueless man placed another scorching hand on her belly, trying to feel where the baby would grow. His touch only triggered her further. Her muscles tensed to the point that they pained her. She was completely rigid, and her mind was exploding.

“Is it mine?” he asked. 

With him in such close proximity, she could smell the beer on his breath. He had been drinking the same brand from that night. The scent only further evoked memories of the assault she endured. “No…I don’t…No. No no no,” she repeated anxiously. She cringed at the idea of the child within her being his. Would he try to claim custody? There was no way she was raising the baby with him.

“It’s okay,” he dumbly tried to assure, “I’ll do the right thing…”

Clearly, he didn’t get it at all. Was he seriously suggesting she marry him? Her thoughts remained stuck. He was wrapping his arms around her in a foolish effort to be comforting, but it felt just as possessive as it did when they were dating, if not even more so. She shuddered and tried to push him away. It wasn’t working. She could hardly breathe. Her voice was gone. She was overwhelmed with pure dread. Her body felt weak and her arms were failing her. She winced and recoiled as he leaned into her, her terror exacerbated. Her head was spinning. “Stop. No.” she whimpered as forcefully as her hoarse voice would allow. He only grasped her tighter.

***

Deputy Haught came into the bar. Occasionally she took a cue from Sherriff Nedley to go during coffee hour to observe and get to know the town folk. Dining at Shorty’s was worth it for the food, if not the insight. The uniformed redhead noticed Wynonna drinking at the bar and immediately searched the place for the younger Earp sister, hoping to see her. She wasn’t near the elder Earp. So she glanced over the tables. No pretty petite brunette. She was disappointed. She walked toward Wynonna’s bar stool, noticing that the sister of her beloved was a little tipsy. “Is Waverly here?” she asked.

“Yeah,” the elder Earp replied, “she just went to the bathroom.”

Nicole smiled as her heart lifted. Maybe she would get to see Waverly tonight after all.

“Oh,” Wynonna’s eyes brightened as though remembering something important, “That was a little while ago. I hope she’s not puking. I should go check on her,” she stumbled as she got off the stool.

Nicole looked toward the hallway where the restrooms were. She could see the back lit silhouette of two people. One of them looked like it could be Waverly. The smaller figure was pinned against the wall. “Shit!” the cop exclaimed. She was instantly sprinting toward the passage. Suddenly more alert, Wynonna followed. The redhead could now more clearly see an undoubtedly uncomfortable Waverly being embraced by Champ. “He. Is not. Touching her!” she thought out loud as she approached them.

“Get off her!” the deputy demanded, shouting furiously. When she deemed him to slow at doing so she grabbed him at the shoulders. She then slammed him face first into the opposite wall, perhaps a little harder than actually necessary. She cuffed him. Nicole turned to face Waverly. The petite woman was petrified. Her eyes were bulging. She was sloping heavily against the wall as though that were the only thing holding her up. The site of her cherished one in such a state shattered her heart.

Meanwhile an infuriated Wynonna started yelling at Champ. “What the fuck are you doing here? Did someone finally fry the small remainder of your tiny brain after the bulls knocked you on your head too much?”

Champ came back at her with some lame excuse.

The loud voices were not helping the already overstimulated younger Earp. Nicole was able to acknowledge this, but she couldn’t go to Waverly herself. She had a job to do. She was torn again between comforting her beloved and her sense of duty as a cop. She was still holding onto the restrained Champ. “Wynonna!” she called out sternly to focus the older woman, before any further violence occurred while he was in her custody. “Help her!” she instructed while gesturing toward Waverly with a bob of her head.

Wynonna went to her sister and tried to get her attention. “Babygirl,” she said softly.

Despite her wide open eyes, Waverly’s field of vision had narrowed and darkened. She could barely see her sister, now standing next to her. She could hardly hear over the pounding of her own heart. Her hypersensitive nose caught a whiff of the whiskey though, reminding her of the even more vicious revenant attacker. She winced, turning away from Wynonna and retreating further into the wall. Waverly’ panic had completely disoriented her. Every touch felt like the men mauling at her again. Her jaw was clenched, yet her mind was screaming. 

A desperate Wynonna placed a hand on her sister’s back in effort to provide support and guide her out of the bar. She noticed that the smaller woman flinched fiercely at the contact and immediately let go. Wynonna was at a loss. She knew Waverly needed to get out of the bar and sit somewhere where there wouldn’t be a large number of town folk gawking at her.

Finally Gus appeared. The older woman took in the site of a devastated Officer Haught restraining a very guilty looking Champ on one side of the hallway. Her very alarmed nieces stood on the other side. She scowled at Champ, but had no words for him. “Get him out of here,” she demanded to the cop with a sneer. 

Nicole could hear her detest and disgust for the man in the harshness of her voice. She nodded as she nudged Champ toward the front entrance.

Gus then focused her attention on Waverly. She stood beside Waverly rather than in front of her. With her shorter stature, she was already less intimidating than Wynonna. She softly called Waverly’s name, and gently requested “look at me,” until tearful hazel eyes finally met her own. Waverly was still panting desperately for air. “Breathe deeply,” Gus instructed.

When her inhalations had steadied, the older woman offered her hand. “Take it when you’re ready,” she invited. Waverly slowly reached for the hand. Her numb fingers warmed as the clasped it.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Gus said kindly. 

Waverly nodded hesitantly, still uncertain if she could move.

Gus gently pulled her along. She gradually placed on foot in front of the other to keep up. The older woman gestured to Wynonna to stay behind Waverly. Gus wanted her nearby incase Waverly fell. She guided the Earps to the back exit. She opened the door. They were greeted by a cool night air. They stepped out onto the small porch there. Gus requested Waverly to sit on the stoop, and sat next her. They maintained the light physical contact through their hands. When Wynonna asked what she could do, Gus directed her to retrieve a glass of water. Gus was still prompting Waverly to take deep breaths as Wynonna returned with the beverage. The elder Earp sat at her sister’s other side. 

Waverly was eventually soothed. While chatting with Gus, she informed her of the pregnancy. Gus was surprised at her niece’s decision to keep the baby, yet vocalized support and even excitement about becoming a grandmother. She would be grandmother to Waverly’s child, she determined.

Waverly gave a brief smile of relief, upon hearing Gus’ devotion and love for her and her child to be.

It was considerably later when Waverly finally stood again. She was exhausted, and still ached emotionally and physically from the ordeal of her flashback and related panic. She was ready to go home and Wynonna was sober enough to drive her. The sisters sat in companionable silence as they returned to the homestead.


	11. Coming Home

Nicole needed to see Waverly. Her shift didn’t end for another couple of hours. She was still completing documentation on Champ’s arrest with a plan to file charges for sexual harassment. She was distracted though as her mind kept wandering to the youngest Earp, wondering if she was okay. She was outraged at Champ for hurting her, and even more infuriated that he was entirely clueless about how his behavior affected the traumatized woman. She hoped Waverly would consider filing for a Peace Bond. If Waverly wouldn’t, she may file it herself. He needed to have real consequences if he were to come near her again.

She was frustrated at herself for not being there sooner, and not being able to comfort Waverly. She couldn’t stand the thought of the precious brunette needing her while she was stuck at the Cop Shop. She knew the younger woman had her sister, and Gus too, but somehow that didn’t feel adequate. 

By the end of her shift Champ had been released on bail, which angered and scared her further. He had better not go near Waverly again. She would not be restraining herself next time. She didn’t care what the consequences were. Even if she used her service weapon to punch bullets in his head as she had fantasized about doing. 

At the end of her shift she despondently went home, though her thoughts remained with Waverly. She mindlessly went through the motions of changing out of uniform and feeding her cat. She prepared for bed. She pet the orange tabby. She tried to sleep, but images of the panicked and distraught Waverly kept invading her mind. Eventually she gave up on rest. She went to her car and drove to the homestead.

It was late. She had kept an extra key Waverly had given her. She still liked to be polite and knock the door. She did so, but the wrong Earp answered and was pointing an old revolver at her.

The gun startled her for a second before Wynonna put it down while sighing with relief when she saw it was Nicole. “It is 11pm!” Wynonna complained, “Who the fuck knocks on a door at this hour?”

“Law enforcement?” the redhead retorted.

Wynonna glared at her. “What are you doing here, Nicole?”

“I had to see her,” she confessed.

“Well, you’ll have to wait,” the older sister told her irritably, “She’s sleeping. She’s had a rough day.”

Nicole bit her lip, suddenly feeling silly and self-conscious instead of brazen and romantic. “I know,” she sighed sadly.

Wynonna took pity on her. “Come in then,” she invited impatiently.

Nicole really wanted to go to Waverly’s room, but she knew better than to interrupt the resting woman. She wouldn’t be the creeper cracking the door open just to peak at her either. She really needed to know, “Is Waverly okay?” she asked as she sat on the sofa with Wynonna. Her voice croaked.

Wynonna regarded the redhead. “Yeah, thanks to you and Gus”. The elder Earp felt her own sense of guilt and Nicole heard it in the bitterness of her tone.

“It’s not your fault,” the redhead assured.

“Not yours either, Haught,” the elder Earp replied.

Wynonna sighed. “Scares me though,” she admitted. “We gotta keep a close eye on our girl. And not just because of Chump.”

“What do you mean?” The concerned cop questioned.

Wynonna’s worries were if the baby were supernatural, which hadn’t been proven yet. She feared the danger her little sister could be in if the revenant had managed to sire the child. She tried to dismiss these concerns and instead told the deputy, “just that news will spread, as it does in a small town and being an unwed single mother in Purgatory who is also an Earp won’t be easy.”

“Yeah,” the redhead agreed forlornly.

“She’s already faced questions about the father,” Wynonna informed Nicole sadly. “You know what she said?”

The cop shook her head.

“She said it was you.”

Nicole smiled at this, and snorted a laugh. While quite certain Waverly was just being snarky to some nosy town person, it also gave her some hope that the younger Earp did see a future with her still. Despite her claims that she had ‘let her go’.

The smirk didn’t stay long. 

A piercing scream came from above alarming both of them. They immediately dashed up the stairs and burst into Waverly’s room where she was tossing, turning, and whimpering. Her eyes would partially open, then screw shut again. The traumatized woman was clearly having a night terror. They called out her name, attempting to wake her. It didn’t work.

Wynonna went to the bed and placed her hand softly one her sister’s shoulder. When the contact failed to awaken her, she tried to gently jostle her awake. All this did was aggravate Waverly further. The smaller woman wildly flailed her arms in an attempt to remove herself from the contact. Wynonna backed away, feeling helpless, as her sister continued to writhe in agony while unconscious.

The elder Earp looked to Nicole. Her brows raised temporarily from her frown, inviting the redhead to try to soothe Waverly.

Nicole was at a loss too. She waited until some of the physical intensity subsided. She then sat on the bed beside Waverly. She clasped a clenched and clammy hand in both of hers, and rubbed comforting circles on the back of it. She reached to stroke the perspiring brow. Waverly calmed, though she still shuddered involuntarily. She turned her head toward Nicole’s touch though, which made the taller woman’s heart leap. “Hey,” she said gently, hoping to get the brunette to open her eyes, “It’s okay. You were having a nightmare,” she told her, “You’re safe now. I’ve got you.”

Waverly moaned, but it was lighter this time. Nicole thought she was trying to acknowledge her.

“It’s alright, open your eyes, love.”

She winced before finally unsealing her hazel irises. Her eyes settled on Nicole, who was staring down at her with those enlarged doe eyes.

“That’s it,” the redhead encouraged.

Waverly pulled at the redhead's hand, using the leverage to help sit up. Her muscles still ached from the earlier tension.

“Nicole?” she asked. Her head felt lug and she remained a little disoriented. 

The taller woman nodded, “I’m here,” she soothed, pleased that Waverly was more alert now and could recognize her.

“What are you… you’re not supposed to be here,” the confused younger Earp asked.

“I want to be here,” Nicole told her assertively, “I had to see you. I had to make sure you were okay after seeing…” she couldn’t bring herself to say the name. She paused and sighed, briefly looking at the floor, before seeking eye contact again. “All I could think, ever since you ‘let me go’, was that I had to return to you. I had to protect you.”

Wynonna, assured that Waverly was alright and in good hands, managed to slip out of the room unnoticed and give the two women some privacy.

Nicole took Waverly’s clenched hand, opened it up, and placed it on her chest, pressing her own hand over it. Waverly could feel the racing pulse. “This heart,” Nicole said, “belongs to you. Please don’t let it go again. I think it would shatter,” the taller woman acknowledged. She hesitated continuing, though she had plenty more to say. There should be better times to discuss things than after her beloved awakens from a night terror. Still though, time never seemed to be on their side. And Waverly was gazing at her expectantly, as though she needed to hear more. Needed to be convinced. “I want to spend my life with you,” Nicole admitted. “When I envision our future I see you and me together, raising ‘our’ babies.” 

Waverly melted a little at ‘our babies.’

“I want to kiss you in the kitchen before going to work in the morning, and if there is a toddler in your arms, that’s even better,” Nicole spouted.

Waverly smiled slightly, lifting her lover’s mood as well. The brunette found her voice and replied teasingly, “That’s very sweet, rather domestic, and kinda 1950s patriarchal of you.” 

Nicole chuckled before she became serious again. “I would never have imagined for it to happen in this way,” her brows knit, expressing her deep care. “I wish you had not been hurt like that. I confess, I wanted more time with just us. I thought we might try to get married and then have babies. I know, traditionalist for a lesbian. But the order doesn’t matter. As long as we are together. The point is…”

“You want to make a home with me?” Waverly asked anxiously.

Nicole answered earnestly, “Baby, you ‘are’ my home.”

Waverly leaned forward into the redhead’s embrace, “Do you really think we could be happy together?”

“I don’t know how I would be happy without you,” replied the taller woman, a sadness in her tone as she considered even briefly a life without Waverly.

The brunette pulled back from he lover's arms though, a little startled at the response. She looked into Nicole’s large brown eyes. “You’re not proposing are you?” she probed, a little overwhelmed at the possibility.

“Not yet,” Nicole stated steadily, “but only because I don’t want you to have the stress of planning a wedding while you are pregnant. And I know you're the one planning that wedding. Maybe you already are,” she said jokingly, with a silly squint.

“The colors are cobalt and lavender,” Waverly interjected as she contemplated it.

The redhead grinned, “But I do have a ring for you.” She removed a ring from her own right hand. “It was my grandmothers,” she explained. She held up the ring for Waverly to see. The smaller woman admired the design of the claddagh. Silver hands held a crowned sapphire heart. Nicole reached for Waverly’s right hand. Before allowing her to take it, the brunette slipped off a ring that was already there, clasping it in the palm of her left hand. She gave the now ring-less hand to Nicole. The redhead slipped the small piece of jewelry onto Waverly’s right ring finger with the heart facing inward. 

Satisfied with the placement of the claddagh, Nicole remarked with approval, “It fits you better.”

An awestruck Waverly returned the gesture, putting the ring that that used to ornament her own finger onto Nicole’s right ring finger. It was an emerald cut with two corners and rounded edges, a Vesica piscis. “It was my mother’s,” Waverly informed softly. It was one few possessions she had that was once her mothers. “Keep it safe,” she instructed. 

“I will,” Nicole swore, “As I will keep you and your child safe.”

Waverly brought Nicole’s now adorned hand below her belly button. “Our child,” she corrected.

Nicole beamed, “Our child,” she agreed.


End file.
